Showing posts with label Breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breastfeeding. Show all posts

Friday, 24 August 2012

Disorganised mum

There's just over a week to go before my older two boys go back to school.  My oldest will be starting Year 2 and my middle boy will be going into Reception.  They are both looking forward to seeing all their friends and I am looking forward to no more fighting seeing their happy, smiling faces at the school gates.  I can't wait to see them back in their uniforms, with their new shoes and packed lunch bags.  The only problem is I haven't actually bought any of them yet.

I'll make all the usual excuses now.  The holiday has flown by, it's hard to go shopping with all three boys, work, life, money, children, everything seems to get in the way.  The truth is though, I'm really disorganised. I spend a lot of my time planning but never actually doing anything about it.  It's all in my head but I find it difficult to put things into action.

I am very much the type of person that likes to work under pressure; I find I get more things done when I've got a deadline looming.  I'll sit and think about everything I've got to do but unless it needs to be done instantly I file it away somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind.

Then I have these really proactive days where I get loads done, I feel full of energy and positivity and life is good.  The problem is that these are few and far between.

Every so often I decide that I need to get organised and make lists of everything that I need to do and not wait until last minute.  Then all of a sudden it is the last minute and I haven't done anything again.  How does that happen?

I've always called myself a lazy mum.  I don't believe in making things difficult for myself and will always try to find the easy option.  My children all slept with me when they were babies as I was breastfeeding and so it meant I didn't have to get out of bed to feed them (and I also liked having them in bed with me).  I even used to joke that I breastfed because I was too lazy to make up bottles (that really is a joke as breastfeeding isn't the easiest thing to do, not in the early days at least).

I do get things done (eventually) and I don't think that it has any real detrimental effect on anyone (though it probably frustrates friends and family who expect things done quickly).

This is even a disorganised post.  I intended to talk about getting my children ready to go back to school and I end up going off on a tangent.

So, back to school.  Sometimes good things really do come to those who wait.  I like to enter competitions and today I won a £25 voucher for Clothing at Tesco, so this will go some way towards buying their uniforms.  That will be a huge help as there's a lot to get for the two boys.  I'm also going to get their school shoes this weekend so that'll be another item ticked off my list (if I had one that is).

I know I'll get it all done.  I did last year.  Don't my boys look handsome in their uniforms?


So I've decided that I'm going to make a list of everything I need to do and buy over the weekend.  By the time I go back to work on Tuesday it will all be bought or ordered.  But perhaps I'll write my list tomorrow.  After all, it's late now and I've got tweets to write cleaning to do before bed.

If anyone has any tips or advice to help cure me of my laziness and rescue me from my disorganised life then I'd love to hear it.  Otherwise a slap across the face may work.

Monday, 10 October 2011

When is it the right time to stop?

I'm still breastfeeding Ollie, and he will be one on Wednesday.  Now, with my other two boys I always said that I would breastfeed for a year, but they both stopped themselves just before they were a year old.  So I've never done the whole weaning process.  But Ollie is still going strong.  He only has two feeds a day usually, but he loves those feeds.  In fact, he demands them.  He's showing no sign of wanting to drop them.

But this morning, he bit me. Ouch!  I'm not planning on stopping just because he bit me. But it has started me thinking about what I want to do. I just can't make my mind up.  Today has made me think about it a bit more too as (other than the biting incident) Ollie isn't very well.  He's got an upset tummy and it seems the only thing he wants is breast milk.  So that's what he's getting.  He's still so little, and still a baby.  My baby.

I recently trained as breastfeeding peer support worker so I know all the positive benefits of extended breastfeeding, and that the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of two years (http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/)  It just isn't as easy as knowing all that.  I feel pulled in different directions by other peoples opinions, and also by myself.

Am I planning on continuing to feed for myself (as suggested by a certain someone very close to me)?  Ollie could be my last baby so maybe I don't want to give up the attachment?  He is still very much my baby, and I don't think it's because I don't want to lose the attachment, more that I know he really wants to breastfeed and I don't want to deny him.  Is that so wrong?

Or is it time to wean him to...... (I'm trying to think of the reasons) ..Do you know, I can't think of a valid reason why.  I don't feel like my body is not my own because I'm breastfeeding, and I think that my reasons for stopping now would just be to suit other people.  And that's no reason.  Surely the only reason to stop now would be because either Ollie, or I, decide that we don't want to do it any more.  Shouldn't it come down to personal choice?

I wouldn't dream of telling another mum how to raise their child, so why do I feel criticised by others just because i want to breastfeed past the age of one?  Breastfeeding in itself is not very common in my area, so extended breastfeeding is practically unheard of!  Thank goodness for my breastfeeding support group, and most of my close friends and family.  Without them I may give in to peer pressure.

I think there's always an element of guilt when it comes to making decisions about the children.  I know that doesn't just apply to me either.  I've got friends who feel guilty about how they fed their baby, when they started weaning onto solids, where their baby sleeps, even that their baby fell and hurt themselves (some of these also apply to me!)  I do think that guilt is a natural part of parenting, and it helps to have friends who are going through the same things in order to rationalise and discuss concerns.  In fact, I think it's extremely important for me to have this support.   It helps me to feel happy and comfortable with my decisions.

When I started writing this post, I wasn't sure where it was going.  Part of me wanted advice, but I don't think I need it any more.  I'm happy, Ollie's happy, and that's all that matters.  Writing this has helped me to realise that.  So, we'll keep going a bit longer.  And stop when it's ready for us, and not when it suits other people.